An Epiphany

I had an epiphany this morning at church. I'm not sure if I'm willing to risk laying it all out right here on my blog, but I'll do what I can. Where to begin. . . . It started out like many other Sundays. . . we were tired after such a long day yesterday and it was difficult getting the family up and out the door for church. I was cranky and expecting the morning to resemble banging my head against a brick wall. . . we had not prepared ahead of time at all to lead worship. . .we were also in charge of sound so I knew we needed to get there early to set everything up. Amazingly enough, we were at the church by 9:00, set up the mics and monitors, had a good sound check, and ran through all of the songs by 10:15. I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly everything went. Even though I had picked out the songs strictly by elimination (Rob likes, Rob doesn't like. . . ), they were all favorites of mine and I found myself enjoying the music and, even more importantly, I could hear in Rob's voice that he was enjoying the music. We sang Heart of Worship together for the offertory and it was very simple. We sang unison on most of it and it was very moving for me. I know it sounds like I was worshiping the music and not God but that isn't it at all. God was there. He was very present for me through all of this and when I sat down during open worship, He made it very clear to me what the unrest in my heart lately is really about. I discovered that the desire of my heart isn't just to sing- I don't want to sing to a karaoke CD at the Cherry Festival and I don't even really want to sing country music with Straight Shooter- I want to lead worship with Rob. I don't know where and I don't know any other details, but that much was crystal clear. I want to hear him play and sing the way he did this morning and I want him to want this, too. I felt a peace about this "dream" of mine in a way that I haven't in a long time. I felt hope that God really does have a plan for me that includes my voice and that He hasn't forgotten the desire He put in my heart. I was completely overwhelmed with love for Rob and for the gift that he is to me. I shared all of this with him after church and we had a great conversation about it. He gets it. I'm not expecting any of this to happen overnight, but Who knows. . .


Back to the everyday, hum-drum stuff of my life!! We went to JB's after church for AYCE shrimp.

When Gloria finished her lunch, she went over and squeezed between Rob and Zach:

Things got a little bit out of control there for a minute. . . .

Rob looks all disapproving, but he instigated the whole thing. . .

After lunch, my head was pounding with too much emotion, too little sleep, and too much good food. I desperately needed a nap. Due to many factors out of my control, it didn't happen and I went to the first evening of VBS feeling just a little fuzzy in the head. Kristin is the director this year and is doing a great job!!

We had around 45 kids for the first night and they all seemed to be having a great time:

These boys are doing a great job helping out wherever they are needed:

It was past midnight again when I got to bed, but now I'm sure that there's a light at the end of this tunnel. . .