Guitar...

Music has always played a key role in my life. I don't know when I first started listening to music but one of my earliest memories is listening to a radio station (am, of course) while I played paper dolls in my room. Some of the songs that I remember playing on the radio were Afternoon Delight, Bye Bye Miss American Pie and The Cat's in the Cradle. We also had records- my early memories of those are Crosby, Stills and Nash and The Captain and Tennille. In junior high I had albums by Barry Manilow, Leif Garrett and Shaun Cassidy among others. My dad had Crystal Gayle and Dolly Parton records and I would listen to them all.

I took piano lessons in the fifth and sixth grade (I think) and loved every minute of it. I even have an award for being student of the year! It was the year I played Fur Elise. I also remember playing Send in the Clowns. I can't remember why I stopped taking lessons but I continued to play all the way through junior high and high school. I even played for my 9th grade choir for a Christmas concert. It was Frosty the Snowman and I think I choked.

All through high school I accompanied myself on the piano when I sang in church. I admit I wasn't the best pianist but I managed to get the job done and relied on myself to learn the tune and to be prepared to perform it. My sister and my mom both played, too, and I envied their ability to play by ear. I could read music pretty well which my sister said she was envious of but I couldn't just sit down and play by ear like she could.

(I could say so much more about how music influenced my life and all of the different groups I sang with but this is a post about my guitar so I'll save the rest for another day.)

The point I'm getting to is that for years I played for myself when I wanted to sing. When I met Rob, I made a subconscious decision to stop. It was just so much easier for him to play while I sang. It was my decision and not something that he really had anything to do with except that he was an exceptional piano player and I gave myself an excuse to stop playing. (Just one of many regrets that I have about decisions my younger self made...)

For years we performed music together: weddings, funerals, church services, our band...

But at some point, we got busy. And I began to lose something very important to me. So I waited for something to change. But it didn't. And it wasn't anyone's fault, it was just life.

So... Last January I picked up a guitar and decided to teach myself to play it. It was time, past time, to do something about it. In October I started taking lessons. The lessons taught me pretty quickly that I would have to re-learn most of what I taught myself but it wasn't ever a waste of time.

I don't have nearly as much time as I would like to practice and I'm frustrated at how big the learning curve is but it's something that I am doing just for me. I have no idea where it will lead but right now it just feels good to pick up the guitar and learn a song that speaks to me without waiting for it to speak to someone else.

I had guitar lessons tonight for the first time in about a month and it was encouraging to see how far I had come during the month I practiced but didn't have lessons. My plan is not to plan but to just keep on keeping on while enjoying the process along the way...