Hope

When I woke up this morning, I flipped open my Bible to Ecclesiastes where I knew I would find a kindred spirit:

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun. . . .

. . . What does a man get for all the toil
and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun?
All his days his work is pain and grief;
even at night his mind does not rest.
This too is meaningless. . .

This was how I felt on Monday and I was determined to start my day differently today.
My struggle with the chaos in my life is that all of the things I'm doing are good things. Most of the things I'm involved with I find enjoyment in. The business is crazy and unpredictable, but it has strengthened my marriage given me a great education. I love to teach my kids and have no doubt that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm passionate about my ministry at church with the kids and can't imagine giving that up. I could do without housework and kitchen duties, but I like a clean house and fed kids, so giving up those things isn't an option. I could give up bill paying and paperwork but that would only make things worse. I need my blog. If anything, I'd like to spend more time with friends. So, I talked all of this over with God. And I continued to read in Ecclesiastes:

What does the worker gain from his toil?
I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done
from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for men
than to be happy and do good while they live.
That everyone may eat and drink, and find
satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God.
I know that everything God does will endure forever;
nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
God does it so that men will revere Him. . .
So I saw that there is nothing better for a man [woman] than to
enjoy his [her] work, because that is his [her] lot.

So, I draw hope from the fact that most of the time I find great satisfaction in what I do and that there is a lot of joy in my life. I don't think it's ever God's plan to live in chaos and there are times I long for a simple life but there is a time for everything so I'll continue to put one foot in front of the other and to breathe in and out and to find satisfaction in what I do. Taking the time to think through these things gave me a much better start to the day. School went great, I accomplished a great deal at the shop and I even talked on the phone to Tracie for an hour and a half. It was a good day.