You know how when you're in high school (even if it's been a REALLY long time) and you form certain ideals about what your life will be like? People ask you what you're going to be and "labels" begin to form. I was called a "writer" and a "singer" and a "math person". Even though I entertained other fleeting ideas, I was pretty certain that my future held a diploma from NNC, a tall, handsome pastor for a husband and a career of some kind that included singing. Well. . . that didn't happen.
I'm totally ok without the diploma from NNC. I made my peace with that a long time ago. I have zero regrets about not marrying a pastor (no offense to the wonderful pastors I know!). But the singing part. . . Well, it hits me like a freight train every once in awhile and regret floods my soul.
So how do I handle it?? Well, I spew ridiculous, irrational things, throw myself one fabulous pity party and then I cry myself to sleep.
But then I wake up in the morning and come to terms with it, thank God for all of the good people and things in my life and move on, grateful that I've reached 44 1/2 with only 1 regret.
And I remind myself that my life has been filled with music: I've sung at countless weddings and funerals, I was in a band that brought me much joy, I've impressed my 12 year old daughter with my vocal abilities (not an easy thing to do), I co-own a business in the music industry and I still have roughly 45 years ahead of me to make my dream a reality. Plus there is always THIS. . .
Party over. . . .
1 comment:
OMG i love it the prime time singers they were the best with there wierdly named instraments :) and Tanya you are honestly the singer i look up to. many people look up to taylor swift, barbra streisand, the beetles, etc. but i honestly one day want to be as great as you. you are an amazing person and a phenomenal singer!
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