Tapped Out. . .

Lucy is home.  We had a long conversation with the doctor in charge of internal medicine and she cut straight to the chase.  Other doctors that we've spoken with have tried to instill hope and optimism about Lucy's condition but this doctor laid it all out on the table.  We do not have the results yet from the biopsy and that will be crucial to the entire case BUT we do know that her liver has been severely damaged and may or may not be able to recover.  If the results of the biopsy tell us that her liver is still healthy enough to regenerate itself then we are looking at several months of intense medication and monitoring before she is out of danger.  Even then, she will need regular visits to the vet (3-4 times/year) for the rest of her life for blood tests.  If the results tell us that her liver is damaged beyond hope then we are looking at just a few days before Lucy can no longer sustain life.  It all feels bleak.  It's not what we hoped for.  Both scenarios suck.  I'm tapped out- mentally, emotionally, financially,  spiritually.  I remind myself that it could always be worse.  As much as we love her, Lucy is not one of our children.  She's a beloved pet who brings joy into our lives but the people in my family are alive and well and healthy.  We have a roof over our heads, food in our fridge and plenty of work on the horizon over the coming months.  But right at this very moment, as I look at the bill I just paid and the kitchen table covered with the medications that I'll be giving her through a feeding tube for who knows how long, it's hard to feel hope.  But still, I know I'm blessed and I'm going to hold onto that for as long as I can. . .