Sunday, October 18, 2015

The Big Change. . .

So. . . things have changed.  I've known the changes were coming for a long, long time.  People who know me well (and some who've just made educated guesses) know that these changes have been coming for a long, long time. For years, truly.  In many ways, the things leading up to the Big Change have been much harder than the Big Change itself is turning out to be.  And because I'm a private person, I haven't addressed those changes here (much) but it's made updating my blog very difficult because the changes are deeply ingrained in my everyday life.  But at some point in the very near future these things will be common knowledge and I'll have to figure out how to move ahead with my blog because I love coming back here to remember how my life has unfolded over the years.  And this is a BIG unfolding. 

So, here it is in a nutshell:  Rob has moved out and I've asked him for a divorce.  There.  I said it. It's real.  And it's really happening.  We had our 25th anniversary on the 25th of August, I asked for a separation on the 22nd of September and now, in the middle of October, we are figuring out how to dismantle 29 years of emotions and memories and bad times and good times.  It's a journey into the unknown but, in my heart, I know it's a necessary journey.  And I've wrestled with my heart.  For a very long time.  So I'm not going to explain or justify or point fingers.  I'm just going to acknowledge right here where I keep my memories that this is happening.  And I want to figure out how to revisit these memories here without causing hurt and unnecessary sadness.  But this is part of my story now.  Part of my crazy, beautiful life.  And I intend to continue having a crazy, beautiful life in spite of the changes. 

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