You have to go through Portland to get to Newberg...

I've had a lot of thoughts lately. Too many thoughts to put into words. I've jotted notes in my IPad here and there and I've processed in productive ways through messaging with a trusted friend. But mostly the thoughts have been swimming around in my head looking for a way out. I can't find that way out right now but today I had a thought that was so profound I had to put it somewhere. This blog is the place I go when I want to remember something. I want to remember this thought, so here I am. 

And here is the thought: You have to go through Portland to get to Newberg. 

I'm sure there are ways around it. If I studied a map and used a GPS and gathered information from people who are familiar with the area, I could avoid the sometimes traumatic experience of going through Portland on my way to Newberg but I think that would only prolong the agony. If I want to get to my goal- all of the good people and things in Newberg, especially my kid whom I miss terribly- I have to take the freeway through Portland. 

It's almost always dark and rainy and in the middle of rush hour traffic when I hit that stretch of road. I've gotten lost on more than one occasion and had to stop and ask for help. But it's worth it. I always make it to my destination and am always rewarded with good things when I get there. 

So why is this so profound? Because everything I'm trying to get out of life is metaphorically on the other side of Portland. I've been searching for an easier route. I've been avoiding the trip altogether. I've been afraid that I might get lost. I've been afraid I might have to ask for help. I've been too scared to make the trip. But I have to go there because when I get there I will be rewarded with good things.